


Man of Twists and Turns

by via_ostiense



Category: Death Note, Greek and Roman Mythology, The Odyssey - Homer
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-19
Updated: 2005-01-19
Packaged: 2017-10-15 17:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/163150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/via_ostiense/pseuds/via_ostiense
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You will neveerr reach hooome, Raiitooo, fooor the saaacreligiouuus siiin of eaaating my saaaacrificial paastriees."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Man of Twists and Turns

**Author's Note:**

  * For [troisroyaumes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/troisroyaumes/gifts).



> For tarigwaemir, who donated to the Relay for Life and asked for "Death Note, crossover with any  
> literary work." I'm sorry I couldn't get the Fudomine boys to work in my head, but I hope you're amused by this.

Raito had been sailing for a week when the storm hit. He had a bare second to think,  _Oh, shit_ , before his precarious raft flipped over and dumped him into the thrashing ocean. Clawing his way to the surface, he spat saltwater and screamed,

"Damn you, Ryuuzaki! Let me go home, you bastard son of an Olympian bitch!"

A mournful face formed in the towering waves, with crests of foam for hair and two giant whirlpools for eyes.

"Youu wiiill neveerr reach hooome, Raiitooo, fooor the saaacreligiouuus siiin of eaaating my saaaacrificial paastriees."

Raito, treading water, shouted back, "I didn't steal your pastries! You have no proof, Ryuuzaki!"

"Fiiive perceeent chaaance, Raiiitooo," the watery face boomed. "Iiit muuust beee youuuu. Theere aare nooo otheerrr suuuspeects."

A giant wave, taller than the walls of Troy, towered above Raito, and he cringed, waiting for it to crash down upon him. It had been the perfect crime, conning Ryuuzaki's one-eyed minion into handing over the sacred pastries from the god's altar. He had to hand it to Ryuuzaki, the god was smart, even for an Olympian. Only a genius could have traced the trail of pastry thefts from the shores of Troy all the way to Calypso's palace. The wave was descending slowly, slowly, to crush him like a jellyfish. His life began flashing before his eyes: his aged father, Penelope, helping his daughter Sayu with her math.

Suddenly, a head popped up out of the water. "Raito! Yay! I found you! Here, take this," she pressed a pair of fishnet stockings into his hand, "it's my good luck charm! You'll be safe from Ryuuzaki now!"

Raito blinked, clearing the seawater from his eyes. "Who are you?"

"I'm Misa! Daughter of the sea god! I looooove you! So hurry up and swim away!" She flung her arms around him and smacked him on the lips before disappearing underwater.

"Thaaat waaas Miiisaaa! The mooost beauuutiful ooof theee Neereeeids! I haaate youuu Raaaiiitoo!" Ryuuzaki boomed. The wall of water began to fall more rapidly.

Raito looked dubiously at the stockings, looked more dubiously at the wave aiming for his head, and took a deep breath before plunging underwater. To his surprise, he found that he could breathe and swim as easily as a fish, and he quickly made his escape. Raito of Ithaca, wiliest of all mortals, favored of grey-eyed Athena, and damn handsome as well, would live to taunt Ryuuzaki another day.

**Author's Note:**

> I ended up overshooting the word count mark, but that usually happens. Obviously, Raito = Odysseus, Ryuuzaki = Poseidon, Misa = Leucothoe, random sea goddess who helps out Odysseus on the last stretch of the journey home by giving him her scarf as a safety amulet. Not actually a Nereid, but rather Ino in her incarnation as a sea goddess.


End file.
